Do you realize I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and then take advantage of the flash films/games as the icing in the teenage-annoyance cake. And once the editor pushed #1 Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online in my opinion, I found myself suspicious.
In the beginning, I thought to ask: “How did you realize I used to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not merely, if I was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to follow down younger me but, generally if i was right, he will know I found myself into the bastard. Then this editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering during my ear: “hey, remember this gem of any Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence I have left.
Like other narratives, I was asked who’s tale it was actually. So, one splash of water about the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this became an internet based multiplayer title, I assumed I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game using a critical eye included in my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like the majority of free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io commences with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the bottom of a pile, in a bad world attempting to shoot you in the back of the pinnacle. Or a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. And So I did the obvious thing: I blew from the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging all of the circle with names on them. Yes, the aesthetic could possibly be recreated with MS Paint and the only thing that may be missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the choice of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. An issue that became immediately obvious was that if I planned to live beyond a youngster in a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i would be required to pick regen eventually. Without them, I would personally be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked basically if i wanted a piece of equipment-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or in order to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly such as a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the particular simpleton to try out as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, from fear of confusion otherwise, I went with all the assault rifle option on my tank.
In the end, like the majority of things, my time with Diep.io got to an end once i began picking fights with some other players. Even with the greatest damage output I really could muster, the most speed, a sizable regen pool, and much more health than I knew how to handle, other players were quickly capable to put me within my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside by having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.